Nannies from the Heartland, Inc

Playdate Positives: Building Social Connections

By Becky Kavanagh

                              Building social skills in children is always a key objective for both parents and nannies.  Playdates can be positive experiences for      building skills before those formal school years.  Here are a few tips to keep in mind when planning playdate experiences. 

·         Age Appropriate: Most children three and younger use parallel play rather than shared play, but this is a good time to introduce interactive play with another child of about the same age.  Typically four-year-olds are really getting the hang of playing with another child, especially if they have had opportunities to practice.

·         Plan Ahead: You may want to have a few activities that everyone can do, whether playing together or side-by-side.  Options might include puzzles, modeling dough, art materials, building materials, balls, or music and movement equipment (scarves, rhythm instruments).  Having enough supplies readily available encourages sharing while leaving no one out.

·         Snack Time: Serving a nutritious, fun, simple snack can be a highlight of the playdate especially if you include the children in the preparation.  It’s another opportunity to build cooperative, sharing skills with a nice treat at the end of the activity.

·         Conflict Resolution: Playdates are a great time to build resolution skills.  When children are together conflicts arise.  The challenge is to strike the balance between intervening when necessary but not interfering in the process.  Allowing preschoolers to work out their own solutions is a best case scenario, but they may need adult guidance.  Asking them how they want to work out the problem allows them to focus on possible options instead of the conflict itself.  Getting both parties to agree to a solution allows for everyone to verbalize the plan.  You may need to help them follow through with their plan of action.  Here’s where having plenty of other activities ready can help ease sticky situations.

·         Set Limits: Keep the child’s normal routine in mind when planning the playdate – skipping naps or changing mealtimes for playdates can lead to frustration and crankiness, not a good recipe for encouraging cooperative play.  One and a half to two hours is plenty for most preschoolers.  This time frame can be lengthened as children mature and their relationships develop.  You may also want to limit the number of children involved in the playdate.  For younger, less experienced children getting together with one other child is often best.  Also, odd numbers of children can sometimes add to potential conflicts.  Having enough adult supervision is another key to success.  As children get older “drop off” playdates can be an option and encourages greater independence. 

·         Ending the Playdate: Give everyone a warning before the playdate comes to an end.  A “five minute warning” can work well for most children, but if you know a child needs more time make allowance for that.  Abruptly ending the playdate can set up negative responses.   Clean-up is always the last thing before good-byes are said.  Everyone should share in the clean-up so no one is left with a mess.  I suggest giving a warning before starting clean-up, so in fact you may need to start the transition 10 or 15 minutes before the playdate ends. 

·         Playdate Options: First playdate experiences often start in the child’s own home or their friend’s home.  A home environment is comfortable for everyone.  But as children’s relationships grow and they mature you may want to consider other locations for playdates such as outings to local parks and playgrounds, community centers, special child related programs, museums or other facilities.

Playdates that are well planned, age appropriate and guided by attentive adults who allow children to work through situations can be positive skill building experiences.   Children who have experienced a variety of social situations typically have an easier transition to more formal group settings such as preschool, kindergarten or other organized groups.       

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                Transition: “Passing from one condition or place to another.”  A day with a child is full of transitions.  How are you handling them? Some are manageable, even positive, while others create “bumps” in our day or week.  Here are a few helpful hints that can make those transitions work for you not against you.

• Observation: Taking the time to evaluate what is working and identifying what isn’t is the first step in making changes.  Although, each day is unique there are patterns that you’ll be able to identify. 
• Prepare: Anticipate transition challenges based on your observations, patterns and the activities of the day.
• Plan: Once you’ve identified your transition challenges it’s time to make a plan.  Using some basic techniques can help you avoid the transition blues.  It won’t eliminate every challenge but it will make for an easier time for you and the children.
• Evaluate: Take a moment to evaluate your plan.  Note the successes and failures.   Specify what went wrong and what went right so that you can adjust your plan in the future.

Techniques:

·         “It’s a Game!”  Using game play can smooth out a variety of transition speed bumps.

o        Races – “How fast can we pick up these toys before we go outdoors?”

o        I Spy – Playing this timeless favorite can make car trips, walks or waiting in the checkout line more enjoyable.

o        Going on a Bear Hunt – Do you remember this classic?  Hunting for the child’s favorite bedtime or tub-time toy can make routine transitions smoother.  Hide the toy near your destination.

·         “Sing Along, Everyone!”  Music and young children go hand-in-hand.  Make the most of this by using favorite songs to pass the time or create memorable moments.  Create your own compositions that meet your needs.  Silly songs make for happy children, and adults.  Use CDs to calm car trips or create quiet times – great when transitioning from active play to quiet activities or naptime.

·         “Give Notice!”  Some children require plenty of notice when plans are moving from one activity to another.  Share plans ahead of time with the children so they feel they are part of the plan.  Careful observation of the child will let you know which children need a “notice” and how long before changes they need to be notified.

Smoothing out the “bumps” in the day can be a day brighter when transitions become your friend.  ALL your time with children can be enjoyed!

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Travel Together: Family-Nanny Travel Tips

By Becky Kavanagh

No matter what time of year we get questions from both nannies and families asking for travel tips – how to make the experience positive, how to set expectations, how to prepare, and many more.  Nannies who travel with their employer families and families who have their nannies travel with them have a unique experience ahead of them.  The key is planning and preparing in advance, being clear about expectations and boundaries.  The bottom line is that this is the family’s vacation and the nanny is included as the child care provider.  Ideally everyone should come home with fond memories and good feelings.

Families will want to think through their child care needs while planning the trip.  Will the nanny be working the same hours as their usual schedule?  What expectations do you have for the nanny during the trip?  How will the nanny be compensated for their services to the family during the trip?  Planning ahead for expenses is important.  It is typically understood that all transportation, lodging, meals and required activities are covered by the family.  The nanny is responsible for her personal expenses (souvenirs, activity expenses when not on duty, etc.).  Discussing all aspects of the trip with the nanny well in advance of the trip is essential – any specific dress expectations, type of lodging accommodations, special activities and specific child care responsibilities.  Both parties should be sensitive to the fact that spending so much time together can be complicated.

Nannies should make sure that they are “up” for travel with their employer family.  The potential of travel with the family should be discussed when interviewing with the family initially if possible.  Understanding that this is the family’s vacation and not your own is crucial.  Knowing the family’s expectations will help in the preparation.  Being with the family in a vacation setting isn’t the same as working from the family’s home.  Be prepared for additional or different duties, and likely a change in schedule or routine.  Off hours may also be different due to schedule changes or plans for the day or evening, not to mention your location.

Travel with the family I work for is always a special experience.  We have made car trips to Wisconsin, Illinois, Florida, Arizona, Yellowstone and points west.  Our plane trips have included Washington D.C., Florida, Hawaii and Mexico.  We have enjoyed a Disney cruise, and most recently spent 5 days in London.  Some trips have included other family members or friends.  Planning, patience and flexibility have become watch words.  Having a team-work approach helps each trip go smoother from packing to destination and home again. 

No matter the children’s ages, their interests have been incorporated in the planning.  By balancing activities and downtime children of all ages can be wonderful travelers. Researching your destination helps in planning clothing choices, activities and age appropriate venues.  We also made sure that we bring little comforts from home – games, stuffed animal, familiar snacks, their favorite music, etc.  In planning we’ve also tried to be thoughtful about the shifts in the children’s usual routine.  Keeping changes to bedtime and mealtimes to a minimum has kept us from major meltdowns, as well as pacing sightseeing and other activities to include downtime and snack breaks. 

Be ready for the unexpected and spontaneous – don’t have such a tight or rigid schedule that you miss opportunities

that pop up.  Traveling together can be a memorable and wonderful experience for everyone if you are prepared.  Happy travels!

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Pleasant mealtime experiences for your young child, and the whole family, can be a challenge. The following tips may help take a "bite" out of stressful mealtimes.

Meal Preparation Involvement Allowing your child to take part in meal preparation can help increase your child's interest in a new or unfamiliar food. When children take part they feel "ownership" toward the experience.

Include Preferred Foods Routinely offer a choice of foods. Provide at least one food that you know your child will select and eat. Then they are more likely to make other choices as well.

Vary Colors and Textures This will create interest and increase the number of foods your child will accept and try.

Portion Sizes in Proportion One way to consider portion sizes is to have one tablespoon of each type of food for each year of the child's age up to the adult size. Portion control is challenging for adults as well - we usually have issues with portions that are too large. Pay attention to the recommended serving sizes. During growth spurts, especially preteen and teen year, children may want or even need that second helping. Be aware of physical development changes that can effect portions.

Food Safety Consider choking hazards and prepare foods bite-sized. Cutting hot dogs into fourths lengthwise; cook and mash carrots; cut grapes and cherries into fourths. Don't serve peanut butter by the spoonfuls, combine it with other food items to improve consistency. Nuts and chips should be cut finely or crushed. Also, think about food temperature. Cooling hot foods for young children is appropriate.

Table Manners Make sure your expectations at the table are age appropriate. Let a child be a child, but also consider the progressive development of table manners and expectations for mealtime behaviors. Children are always learning from your table manners, so consider what you are modeling.

Eating Environment Comfort is important at mealtime. Select chairs, tables, dishes and silverware suitable in structure and size for the child. These considerations can also aid in the child’s manners while at the table. Along with environment comes allowing for enough time for a meal. Mealtime can be more than just eating, it can also be a family or child/adult time. Feeling rushed can cause issues for children in behavior and food intake.

Meals and Snacks Best if Scheduled A dependable schedule is helpful, try to schedule meals before your child becomes overly hungry, tired or irritable. Most children require planned nutritious snacks to safeguard an adequate intake of nutrients and calories.

Nannies from the Heartland recently interviewed three young people and asked them to share their experiences and opinions about having a nanny.

NftH: How do you think things would have been different if you hadn’t had a nanny?

RJ: I’d miss having someone home to hang around with - I think I wouldn’t be as happy.

MO: I don’t think I’d be the person I am today. I’m an advanced student and always have been, and I owe that to my nanny. She taught me and pushed me to a higher and more fun maturity level. I have so many positive memories of my childhood. I have many ideas as to how I want to raise my children just as she helped raise me.

CO: I can’t imagine not having a nanny! It was such a privilege to be cared for in my own home by someone who was like another family member. I think having such personal, loving, fantastic care really fostered my creativity, self-esteem, and academic skills.

 

NftH: Would you consider hiring a nanny for your own children one day? Why?

RJ: If I absolutely had to have a caretaker for my child, I would definitely choose a nanny. I’ve had first hand experience with nannies and they are wonderful!

MO: Yes! I want to be able to do part time and flexible hours as a nurse, but if that isn’t possible, I would certainly look into a nanny for my kids. The only problem would be that I have high expectations and an idea of what I want from what I had. It would be hard for me not to compare everyone to my nanny. Truthfully, no one can compare to her.

CO: If I can afford it, I would love my kids to have a nanny! It is such an asset to children to have such attentive and personal care in their own home. Activities and learning can really be tailored to the child’s needs and interests. It’s also a huge asset to the parents to have a child care expert they can work so closely with.

 

NftH: Any other comments?

MO: Again, I just want to say that I am who I am (in a positive way) because of my nanny. She meant the world to me and through her actions and love, I know I meant the world to her. She was the biggest influence in my childhood years. I will never forget the things she taught me, and the fun we had. She was my hero, my friend and my most faithful companion and I adored her.

 

 

Summer Fun - Planned Spontaneity

by Becky Kavanagh

Summer weather is finally here. School’s out and the children are ready for some fun in the sun, and so are we. The key to spontaneity is being prepared for it — sound like an oxymoron? Well, being prepared makes it easy to get up and go at a moment’s notice. Here’s how to get started.

Pack That Bag

Have a bag of those "must have" items packed and ready to go. You may want to include towels, swim wear, sunblock, hats, child friendly insect repellent, water/sand toys, roller blades/skates, and safety equipment. Plus all the necessary "stuff" for the children’s comfort (diapers, change of clothing, etc.), first aid kit, travel snacks, travel games and books. You get the picture. Choose a sturdy bag that is easy to pack, maybe something with compartments for categorizing items for easy access. A bag that can take the action but one you can handle when carrying to and from your car or activity site.

Adjust your packing as needed to accommodate the activity. You won’t need all the beach supplies for a playdate with friends at the zoo. I’ve used large sized (2 gallon) plastic bags to store swim wear, special toys, or other equipment. I keep them organized and ready to grab and go so we’re not spending time hunting for things.

After each trip out you’ll want to take care of any wet suits or towels and replenish the bag with essentials. Then you’re ready for your next outing.

In your large bag you may want to include a daypack so that you can carry your essential items with you anywhere. Also, using a daypack will leave your hands free to hold a child’s hand, a kite string or an ice cream treat. Most daypacks are designed to be lightweight and comfortable. The daypack is also a great place to carry your first aid kit and those must have snacks.

Don’t forget to carry baby wipes with you. Not only are they handy for clean-ups but they take the sting out of bee stings until you can get to some ice. My theory is that as the moisture from the wipes evaporates from the skin it cools the sting site. I discovered this through a personal experience with the oldest child when she was five. We had nothing else at hand to sooth the sting. Everyone was amazed and delighted that this was a great quick fix until we got an ice pack.

Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’